How to get Hijab Ready – Book Review

March 25, 2015

Helping our Daughters Trust their Voices: The Queen of Sheba

March 25, 2015

Mending the Crumbled Wall: Allah’s Promise to Protect your Children

March 25, 2015
How to get Hijab Ready
Sheba
broken-wall.jpg-05

If you are the kind of parent that I am, you’ll understand what it means to watch your child as she sleeps and wonder – What will happen to you if I die?

It might sound extreme (and it is), but we are the worriers; the ones who think of every possible outcome for every possible scenario. The ones who sit up at night thinking of all the things we should do to prepare for the “inevitable.” However, this tendency can be emotionally draining and harmful to our own mental health. And so Allah (swt), the All-Knowing Creator that He is, knows our fears and addresses them straight on.

Whether you are a terminally ill parent struggling with the idea of your child losing you, a single-parent with no “back up” parent to speak of, or just a parent who worries about the well-being of your child, Allah (swt) comforts you through His words and the words of His messenger…

In a hadith reported by Abdullah ibn Abbas (ra), who was just a boy at the time, the Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: “O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]: be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah…”

The Prophet is advising this young companion to be mindful of Allah. In the original Arabic of this hadith, he uses the phrase “ihfadh-Allah, yahfadhak,” which literally translates as: “take care of Allah, and Allah will take care of you.” What is meant by this phrase is that we should take care of the commandments Allah (swt) has ordered upon us (i.e. our prayer, fasting, charity, character, dress-code, etc.). We should constantly be mindful of God and make the hereafter a priority in our lives.

And we get something beautiful in return: a promise from God that He will take care of us in a beautifully holistic way: He will care for matters of our worldly needs, our faith and our hereafter.

Even our children are included in this. Umar ibn AbdulAziz once said, “There is not a single righteous believer who dies except that Allah (swt) will protect his children and his children’s children.”

The story of Musa and Al-Khidr in Surat-Al-Kahf is a prime example of this concept. When these two men were journeying together, they came to a town where the people were not at all hospitable. Then, Al-Khidr saw a wall that was crumbling, and he fixed it. When Musa questioned Al-Khidr about this and asserted that he should have asked the townspeople for payment to do this work, Al-Khidr rebuked Musa for his lack of patience and explained his reasoning for fixing the wall:

“And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the town; and there was under it a treasure belonging to them; and their father was a righteous man, and your Lord intended that they should attain their age of full strength and take out their treasure as a mercy from your Lord. And I did it not of my own accord. That is the interpretation of those (things) over which you could not have patience” (18:82).

Allah (swt) sent Al-Khidr to protect the wealth of these orphans without anyone else’s knowledge or invitation for one reason only: their father was a righteous man. Had he not come along and fixed the crumbling wall, the orphans’ wealth would have been found by the townspeople and unlawfully seized.

Their father took care of the commandments of Allah, worshiping none but Him and leading a life of righteousness. So Allah (swt), in turn, not only took care of this man, but also took care of his children even after he was no longer present.

You have no control over when you will die or become unable to care for your children due to illness or other circumstances. None of this is in your control. Some parents may even use their worrying as an excuse to do something against the faith, like opening interest-based savings accounts for their children. They mistakenly believe that this wealth will be the saving grace of the children if anything happens to the parents.

This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t prepare good resources for your children in the case that you can no longer provide for them. The orphans’ treasure was buried underneath that wall, wasn’t it? Someone clearly planned and buried it there. But plan and save and care for your children’s future in a lawful way, and Allah (swt) will bless and protect them.

As parents, we sometimes focus on our children to the point where we almost lose our sense of self and our drive to do what is best for our own salvation. We need to refocus. We need to pry our eyes away from the goal of being “great parents,” and set our sights on becoming “great believers.” (And a great believer will also inherently become a great parent.)

The energy you use for excessive worrying about your children should be redirected and re-framed into an anxiousness to fulfill the commandments of Allah. And if the day comes sooner than you expect when Allah (swt) decides that your life in this world must end, rest assured that He has promised to take care of you and your children.

And Allah (swt) never breaks His promises.

___
A special and warm thanks to Sr. Fuseina Mohamad of Bayyinah Institute for her help and guidance on this topic.

16 comments

  1. Jazaki Allahu khair for writing this! It’s as if it was written to me- due to some history I tend to worry about my children if/when I die. I needed this reminder that there well being and their Iman is in the hands of Allah, not mine! All they need is my tawakul and duaa. JAK and love you for sake of Allah!

  2. JazakAllah Khair for this beautiful reminder of Tawwakul. I have same fear due to some personal reasons, but InshaaAllah I will try my best to Tawwakul and ask only Allah to help me in my worldly worries as well to gain Taqwa. May Allah reward you for your efforts Ameen .

  3. Thank you, thank you, thank you for mentioning single parents. I am a single parent with 100% custody and one of my precious little ones is on the autism spectrum. I wonder this daily. I try to imagine her and her sisters lives when I am gone….this helps! Jazakallah khair.

  4. dearest sister, may Allah bless you and your love in both the worlds.
    jazakAllah for sharing such beautiful words as a reminder… indeed. belief and working in the way of Allah SWT is the only contentment of hearts because He promises to take care of our affairs when we put our trust onto Him.
    may Allah give u ajar!

  5. Jazaak allahu khairan what a wonderful article subhan Allah it brought tears to my eyes as if it was written for me as a reminder of Allah’s mercy !!!! May Allah bless you in your good work ameen

  6. jazakallaho kharun kaseera.it was a beautiful reminder . Allah subhanahutalla keep all of us in his amman.

  7. JazakAllah Khair for sharing this. As a mother of a son with special needs, its just what i needed to be reminded.

  8. Jazakallahu khair Asma for starting this website. As a mother of two girls, I am constantly looking for resources on parenting. Mashallah, your very first article certainly struck a chord. I am a certified ‘worrier’ about everything and anything that can go wrong. Alhamdullilah, your reminders are very welcome. Inshallah, I shall try to worry a little less about my children and more about fulfilling my own obligations towards Allah subhanahu-wathala. May HE make our path easy on this earth and grant us Jannat-al-Firdaus.

  9. Thanks/Jazaki Allah Kheiran for the article. I believe there should be strong community ties so in case of death of the parents the children are placed with the appropriate family. We worry so much about money but we should really be worrying about who will bring our children up and what kind of values will be thaught to them.

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